In Memory of Freedom

The following poem was written in response to a request I received from my son who notified me that on June 20, 2009 a young woman named Neda Salehi Agha-Soltan was shot in the heart during the election demonstrations in Tehran, Iran. He said, "Mom you have to write a poem about her and post it on your blog!" I began the poem on that day and finished it today, just in time for the fourth of July weekend. This is my offering for Poetry Friday at High Calling Blogs (RAP).

See her face?
expressive brows
resting atop tender eyes
there is love residing there
let the glow of it
spin a web about your heart

See her lips?
delicate bow
hinting at the slightest smile
there is trust abiding there
let the hope of it
infiltrate your restless soul

See her head?
creative mind
building plans for future growth
there is intelligence there
let the thought of it
redefine your opinions

See her heart?
life giving force
beating beneath tender flesh
there is deliverance there
let the sound of it
awaken your compassion

See her blood?
spilled upon sand
pooling flow of sacrifice
there is a connection there
let the sight of it
permeate your liberty

By Yvette Massey

Photo of Neda borrowed from: Wikipedia

Rough Seas

Every now and again, I have a tremendous panic attack because of what I am doing with my life. Getting a bachelor’s degree and going to graduate school to become a professional counselor has to be the craziest thing I’ve ever done!

The panic sneaks up when I think about what this educational journey entails. When I am finished with all the preparation, I will be “qualified” to help people with their lives. That’s when the doubt begins to creep into my heart. That’s when my head begins to come up with all kinds of scary questions.

“How can a few short years of education make such a difference?”

“What if I fail?”

“What if I don’t learn everything I need to know?”

“What if I don’t pass my exit exams?”

“What if I can’t pass the State and National exams?”

“What if I do all of that and I forget everything I’ve learned?”

“What if I can’t find a place to serve?”

“What if this is all a BIG mistake?”

Lord, this is as crazy as it gets with me out here on the waters of faith. I can see you standing there with that quirky smile of yours reaching out your hand to beacon me onward. Before I can take a step, I feel myself slowly sinking down as the surface of the chilly water envelops me in a shroud of doubt. My heart begins to race and my arms begin to flail. I shriek at the top of my lungs, “O my God! I’m drowning again!”

The water level circles my neck like a chocker chain, making it hard to breath. I close my eyes as tight as they will go and take a huge gulp of air. Surrendering to the fear, I prepare to sink one last time.

“This is it!”

“I can’t do this any more!”

“The journey ends here at the bottom of my deep, dark, doubt!”

The words run rampant within my head refusing to be silent. The weight of their urgency falls hard upon the top of my head, pushing me deeper and deeper into the water. As always, before the doubt has time to take over my life, a sweet sound reaches my ears.

“Yvette! Look at me!”

I open my eyes and there you are smiling down at me with the bright rays of the sun framing you in a cameo of light. You reach for me and pull me up and out of the turbulent water.

We stand there on top of the waves with my hair dripping rivulets of wetness down my face, neck and shoulders. My clothes are soaked and I feel like a lost puppy just pulled out of a raging river.

I keep my eyes upon your loving face and you take me in your arms and whisper, “Take one step at a time and keep your eyes on me.”

You release me to the waters rippling waves and the two of us stand firm together. I take a deep breath with my face forward looking straight into your sparkling eyes. I tentatively lift my foot, once again relying on your faithfulness

On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63:6-8